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习近平的酵园生活

2022.01.25 05:48 domjjjdsb 习近平的酵园生活

习近平读书时从来不买闹钟,他一直是听着齐心在猪圈的叫床声准时上学的。
自从和肖战成为邻居后齐心的批三天内由红变黑,化学专业的习近平惊呼这不是化学变化而是物理变化。
习近平阅读替父从军后感动至极,于是他效仿花木兰孝敬齐心替母卖批。
习近平悲叹道中国式教育害人不浅,搞得他连哪坨屎更好吃都分不清。
习近平上课写字把玻璃球塞进马眼里,声称自己没带圆珠笔。
习近平饱读《论持久战》后欣然拜毛泽东为自己的导师,然后习近平每天跑到水晶棺里脱下裤子拿尸体练持久度。
习近平中途请假想逃课,找借口说他做热身运时动不小心屌抽筋了要看校医。
习近平上体育课时在操场表演花式撸管被举报,他声称自己在给屌做广播体操。
习近平打暑假工给公猪口交,被肖战指控玷污了猪的贞操。
习近平为了学好几何,把鸡巴削尖当圆规用。
习近平利用虹吸现象竟通过自己的消化道把化粪池里的大便都吸到了自家饭碗里,免得他吃个饭还要在厨房和厕所之间跑来跑去。
习近平参加军训时因操56式枪管被抓而罚做一千个俯卧撑,他嫌用手做太累向教官请求改用屌做。
习近平自称他的包皮垢取之不尽、用之不竭,蕴含着古人勃大茎深的中国智慧。
研究中国近代史的习近平在自己睾丸上开了两个天窗,声称要让子孙后代开眼看世界,不做愚昧无知的大国公民。
习近平用自己的包皮剪纸花,声称要弘扬中国优秀传统文化。
习近平拖着几米宽的包皮来到公厕被小学生嘲笑挖苦,他为化解尴尬对小学生说因为绅士吃饭前都是要系餐巾的。
习近平饱读西游记后学习太上老君用着三味真火把齐心的批烧成了炼丹炉,再将马眼插进里面体验了水深火热的折磨练就了火眼金睛。
高考期间习近平手脚并用也无法完成数值超过二十的计算,于是他脱下裤子数包皮垢竟成功解开指数级难题。
齐心担心儿子明天高考太紧张主动与习近平发生了性关系,声称家长的陪伴就是最好的复习。
习近平冬天上课偷偷撸管取暖,一被抓就说自己的小弟弟感冒了正在用纸巾给它擦鼻涕呢。
习近平当时作为八九年绝食的学生饿得饥不择食,连吃两百辆坦克不打嗝的。
习近平读书时家里用不起电,他都是靠高速手冲把阴茎撸得发热发光来为写作业照明的。
习近平查字典时嫌注释不够生动形象,在“一针见血”旁画了一个手冲时被屌扎穿手掌喷血的自己。
习近平嫌用针孔当飞机杯太宽,他翻开教科书一看竟激动地盯着毛细血管四个大字。
俗话说屌是男人的生命,在女厕所撸管被抓的习近平声称自己只是在延长生命的长度而已。
习近平将包皮叠成方块状,解放军看了直呼内行。

精选自梁家河借阅室
submitted by domjjjdsb to CLTV [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Patrick_Pathos What if Tulip let the Cat take One One to the conductor in episode 2, rather than chasing after her?

Would the Cat have kept her promise? If so, how would she & Tulip meet back up? Would Tulip need to move to a different car to find food? How would the Cat (or possibly Amelia) track Tulip down afterward?
submitted by Patrick_Pathos to InfinityTrain [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Knowledge420finder Woke by a Non-human Being starring with Blue Piercing Eyes watching me.

I lived on the most tainted soil known to man. It's kinda like the stories you hear about on skin-walker ranch. It's a place that you loose time a week will go bye but it's actually thirty-five weeks that only felt like short days. It's hard to explain but I lost 8 years of my life living there and don't know how. I experienced every type of haunting from people standing outside my door knocking and when I answered they'd say they were waiting on a noise from above and were scared. To children playing in the next room and no children live close bye and are not there to people stomping down my hallway opening cabinets objects go missing all the time and others stacked neatly I documented these for years living there and found the hauntings interesting. I even seen red eyes all the time when the sun went down out in the wooded area that secluded my mobile home.. I now do not live there given my last experience that still is so unexplainable and still haunts me to this day.... I had just split up with my boyfriend of 6years that stayed there with me his departure left me completely alone in this extremely haunted environment. It just got worse. I one night was woken from a deep sleep with a huge figure of somewhat a man it was taller than normal looked as he wore a cloak blacker than the night and was hooded or a hat of sorts this whole figure blacker than the darkest night. It stood there starring at me with peircing Blue eyes 👀 it knew I knew it was there and it knew I knew I was terrified it was as if it was feeding from this fear I could not scream speak or move from being so terrified I laid there as silent as the night while this non-human thing starred directly at me with eyes not human and so Blue it was light blue lightening looking at me. I knew it wasn't there to hurt me just observe me. I never imagined this to happen to me. What was it? Where did it come from? What did it want? I have done research on it and have read of the Hat Man a shawdow man with peircing red eyes but this thing didn't have red eyes. Has anyone ever had this experience? It wasn't a ghost it was a non human a creature in the night. It stood in my room just starring and observing me until the shock put me back to sleep.. This was not a dream my heart raced out of my chest and that woke me from a dead sleep!!!
submitted by Knowledge420finder to Paranormal [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 GuyWithSomeNoodels What to do when you just can't agree?

Like most of us with brothers sometimes we get into heated arguments but the other night I just found the disagreement so stupid like it had no merits at all. It went like this:
I(20m) walk into the kitchen and see my cast iron skillet is on the stove with the burner on and pretty much all the seasoning and oiling that was built up on it was scraped off down to metal.
So I'm like what the hell and my bother about it and he says that he cleaned it with soap and an old ass kitchen sponge. So I'm like never do that again. He just keeps saying that he didn't do anything wrong and he's gonna keep doing that to other pans.
What do I do if I can't get him to not do that to my cast irons, I'm mean this just hurts my brain.
submitted by GuyWithSomeNoodels to Advice [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Pantone7528c Karina Kapoor Khan’s white body in white bikini covering her black parts

Karina Kapoor Khan’s white body in white bikini covering her black parts submitted by Pantone7528c to DesiFappedToHer [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 magdy-abdelsalam-67 America's Omicron Economic Losses: Labor Shortage, More Uncertainty and High Inflation

America's Omicron Economic Losses: Labor Shortage, More Uncertainty and High Inflation submitted by magdy-abdelsalam-67 to world [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 redditorredditing_1 Some guy made his PFP on discord a photo of my face and he won't change it

I have emailed discord support like 3 times throughout the span of 3 months already and they don't seem to care at all because they only send automated responses. is it legal to do this and is there any other way I can report him? Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
submitted by redditorredditing_1 to Advice [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 batninja1 this is my pc I am looking to buy

please can you help me pick better parts using Australian dollars https://au.pcpartpicker.com/list/PRCCmr
submitted by batninja1 to buildapc [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 MildestKicks $PIXY Round 2 - #1 Shorted Stock + News Of NFT + Small MC

$PIXY Round 2 - #1 Shorted Stock + News Of NFT + Small MC submitted by MildestKicks to BreakoutStocks [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 clicked_3635 What are the 3 biggest problems you are facing in cycling today?

I just got started and I am trying to anticipate what challenges I may face in the future!
submitted by clicked_3635 to cycling [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 No-Coconut-4151 Best Dutch course in Utrecht?

Hey,
I would like to advance my few words of Dutch that I can say, do you have any recommendation for a class/course here in Utrecht. Ideally I would like to get from A1/A2 to B1, does not matter whether it's free course or paid.
Thanks in advance for suggestions!
submitted by No-Coconut-4151 to Utrecht [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Aethelflaed4299 Never noticed how cool this dragon was

Never noticed how cool this dragon was submitted by Aethelflaed4299 to MergeDragons [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Reddit-O-Graphy What day is your off-day at work?

Mine is Every Tuesday
View Poll
submitted by Reddit-O-Graphy to polls [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Jdavidkms Bagel places?

I’ve been really into bagels lately and I just got here in Santa Cruz is there any good sandwich places or bagel places here in Santa Cruz that one can recommend?
submitted by Jdavidkms to santacruz [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 HammadNS Raise your startup's first-ever round of funding round.

Raise your startup's first-ever round of funding round. submitted by HammadNS to ProductHunters [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 eryc333 What are the benefits of holding Omi on Veve app?

submitted by eryc333 to ecomi [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 LineNoise Quick update - I ran a bit of analysis w/ @antmandan of these suspicious accounts, by collecting all tweets since 1/1/2022 that mention @\sydney_festival and analysing this network of coordinated behaviour 1/9 🧵

Quick update - I ran a bit of analysis w/ @antmandan of these suspicious accounts, by collecting all tweets since 1/1/2022 that mention @\sydney_festival and analysing this network of coordinated behaviour 1/9 🧵 submitted by LineNoise to australia [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 DeepWebdoge Dunk CNY Year of Tiger

Dunk CNY Year of Tiger submitted by DeepWebdoge to SNKRS [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 bitnewsbot The 15 Best Chinese Security Cameras for 2022 (Indoor & Outdoor)

The 15 Best Chinese Security Cameras for 2022 (Indoor & Outdoor) submitted by bitnewsbot to Techodom [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 Rofleson Gravity is high frequency light dispersing in an opto-electrical system

If we live in an opto-electrical system, the speed of light in the medium would be the limiting factor. What we call atoms are just coherent waveforms at a higher frequency than we can work with, right now at least, and the optical system has close to zero dispersion at that wavelength of light. The dispersion is gravity, with Einstein's theory of relativity, light dispersing could be like a room with a floor moving upward compared to a person standing in a room with gravity. Coherent light waveforms can add in various ways we call chemical reactions, and atoms don't attract each other based on mass, rather, coherent light expands, and a summation of that expansion is what we perceive as gravity. Could a black hole be a near perfect absorber, a sensor in the opto-electrical computing system? It seems this sort of system could also be made within itself, making reality a sort of fractal where the deeper you look the slower the time scale is (light travels at slower speeds based on index of refraction if the material) and the deeper you look the lower the energy level. We are the noise, products of dispersion, in a potentially infinite stack of simulated universes networks, resulting in what we call the universe, at lower and lower energy levels. Given this, what is the original speed of light? Our speed of light would be slower if what we consider a vacuum as really an optical cavity of a given index of refraction. Is our optical internet backbone already a pseudo-recreation of the universe?
submitted by Rofleson to Gravity [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 DiscoveryDiscoveries What is your most petty, spoiled, and ridiculous first world problem?

submitted by DiscoveryDiscoveries to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 SweCBot Steam och Steam Deck får sömlöst molnsparande

Steam och Steam Deck får sömlöst molnsparande submitted by SweCBot to sweclockers [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 willay23 Before and After playing warzone

Before and After playing warzone submitted by willay23 to Warzone [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 av_geek72 looks very comfortable

looks very comfortable submitted by av_geek72 to cats [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 05:48 CronoDroid LOONA Chuu - Chuu Can Do It Season 3 (D-3 Teaser Image) (Air Date: 220128)

LOONA Chuu - Chuu Can Do It Season 3 (D-3 Teaser Image) (Air Date: 220128) submitted by CronoDroid to kpop [link] [comments]


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